This is it. Since now no more smile on my face. Since now I wake up and think what is the bad news today. What's coming?
The cover of the game is in progress. I am eager to see it. And you know, I have no idea if I like it or not. I like cover of my Stronghold, but I don't like cover of my 51st State. I like cover of my Pret-a-Porter, but I don't like Witchcraft. It is Russian roulette. So I am waiting. Will I like cover of my own game? Not for sure. It may be the good news or bad news for me.
You wouldn't believe how many things can happen with components. Components are a bad news generator. That is why I will not be able to sleep well till Essen, when I get my game in hands and play it. When Stronghold was in print I was terrified - there were so many tokens, I was absolutely sure that something will go wrong. No chances that everything will go smooth. Luckily, no mistakes with Stronghold. But we got screwed year later, with 51. State. You can easily forgot about one tiny token that is used in very rare situations. Your graphic designer may misunderstand some token and design it with some errors. Your printer may screw up cutting tokens and they will be wrong cut. Every time I open box with my new game I am terrified. What gone wrong this time...
OK, rulebook for my game... Should I write anything more? This is hardcore. I can't write rulebooks. I hate rulebooks. I can not sleep because of my rulebooks. You can't understand my rulebooks. OK, let's stop it. No more about rulebooks. This is one big bad news.
I love to teach playing my games. During conventions I spent endless hours showing my games to new players. I also love Essen fair. This is the moment. This is a culmination of many months of hard work. I love this crowd, I love meeting players from all over the world, I love this great event.
And still, at some point it will be nightmare. I will be happy doing hundred demo games. I will be happy doing another hundred demo games. But at some point I will be able to no longer talk about the game. No more. And I will be forced to say: "I hate my game. I really do."
Joy will finally come back. Two years after publishing Stronghold, I am thinking about playing it again. I think I like the game again. I no longer hate it.
In a three years since now I will like The New Era again. I only have to wait.